I spent all night on the roadside in Iowa with a flat once. The best moment was when a pig truck drove by.

There you are, driving along, happy as a clam (however happy they are) as you plug along through the Midwest on your way to your final destination. You’re cruising along with the AC blasting and tunes bumping and WHAM! You find yourself in what is, quite literally, the middle of nowhere. Yes, you’re in Iowa, and you’re not gonna take it!

So be honest: What do you think about Iowa?


6 Responses to “Directed Rage, Week 4: Fields of Opportunity”

  1. John Meyer Says:

    Somehow I survived four years of college in Iowa and I learned this…. Iowa is God’s country.

  2. Michael Mason-D'Croz Says:


    If by that you mean God’s neglected country, then sure. But let’s be honest, Iowa is a horrible waste of space in the United States.

  3. Michael Mason-D'Croz Says:

    Yet another reason not to like Iowa … http://youtu.be/3-11uB9mXZw

  4. Alex Haueter Says:

    I blame you! Stupid state. You’re in the way, just miles and miles of boring roads that UPS has to drive to deliver uniforms to my client. It was always going to be tight. That was always the plan, but if UPS didn’t have to drive through you, the driver would have gotten the unis to the door a day earlier, giving my client an extra day to either plan to be home or to drive out to the warehouse and pick it up. Now he has to play in T-shirts. T-SHIRTS! And for what? So you can grow corn. We don’t need corn. All it ends up as is corn syrup anyway. No wonder we’re all getting fat. We’re getting fat, and they have no uniforms!!!!!!

  5. jdschaefer Says:

    After 1.5 hours of sweaty waiting, the uniforms were obtained. Valiantly they were donned as the 2nd half began, leaving the opponent awestruck by our presence. Down 5-0, they must have felt a special form of rage as we proudly added stylish insult to gratuitous injury. Haha! we said, as we proceeded to score 4 more goals and high five to the delight of only ourselves!

  6. jdschaefer Says:

    Iowa, I’m sorry, but I have to say it. I can’t live with you, and I can only live without you. Your greatest claim to fame is being billed as a front loader of the presidential campaign every four years, and in between slipping away from my recollection.

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