You can say whatever you want to Mr. Fluffyfeet. He has very thick skin.


2 Responses to “Directed Rage, Week 1: The Curious Kitty”

  1. Alex Haueter Says:

    I see you sitting there, acting all coy! I know where you are at all times, thanks to that bell. I monitor your every move, you mischievous little hellspawn!

    It wasn’t enough to attack the carpet, was it? No, you then had to scratch the couch with those razor fingers of yours. Then you have the nerve to hide behind that same couch? How dare you.

    Think of what I do for you. I feed you. I play for you. I leave that spot at the foot of the bed open so you can curl up. I scoop your poop. YOUR POOP!

    And how do you thank me? By jumping on top of the mantle and knocking Grandma’s urn over. Then, insult to injury, you dug around in the ashes and took a piss.

    No, I will not pet you. Stop rubbing my ankles. Don’t give me that face. I will not feed you. Don’t you dare lie down. Don’t do it. Please don’t give that … OK, I will rub your belly, but only so you know how MAD I AM AT YOU!

  2. jdschaefer Says:

    There you are you maniacal pile of cat shit! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!

    You show me no respect, ever, none at all!
    How DARE you sit there looking at me with those beady little eyes!

    I’ve spent hours, HOURS, and days, DAYS, working on these samples only to have YOU ruin them! YES! I Blame You! You are the cause and reason for all of my misfortune! You, yes YOU! are the essence of all that is wrong and evil with my life. You! You! You! are why my samples continue to be so challenging to manufacture. AND YOU! are the one who continually fails to give me credit for the work that I do! I will alight your fur with the ravages of fire and electricity! As you barbeque into crispy oblivion you shall leave this world to the sound of my cackling laughter!


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