Occasionally it happens…the office just seems too quiet.  Then it hits you.  The boss is out and your coworkers are too busy to notice what you’re up to.  For some, this screams of the opportunity to abuse company time.  But before you embark on a marathon flash game session, heed this pep talk.

As a child, your parents would hire a babysitter to watch over you while they were out.  This often proved to be unnecessary as you were such a young and responsible youth.  However, there were times when your independent nature got  you into ‘trouble.’  And do you remember what happened when you got into ‘trouble?’  That’s right, you got spanked.  First by the babysitter, and then again when your father got home.  That’s two butt whooping sessions.

Flash forward.

Today, you sit at your desk.  You are unsupervised and completely free to steer your mind ship up any tributary you deem fit.  Those guys down the hall?  Your coworkers?  They think you’re intently catching up on the latest industry trends or supremely focused on your work load.  But really, you could be doing anything.  You could be playing Dolphin Cup.  Hell, you could even go to lunch–who cares if it is only 10:30am.  You’d get back just in time to call it a day.  

But guess what, Mr. Independent Worker, your internal child is calling and it wants to get you into trouble.  It wants you to get used to underperforming and fail to impress.  It wants to get you a spanking.


Is that what you want your boss to do?  Amicably watching over you until the day you get into trouble for not doing any work?  Sure, your boss won’t literally spank you–bending you over his knee and unleashing his fury is better left to the collective imagination.  But he will reprimand you–probably in front of your peers.  And really, he’s just the babysitter.  Just wait until HIS boss gets wind of your ineptitude. 

You’re no longer a baby, STOP ACTING LIKE ONE.

Of course your job isn’t the most ‘motivating’ or ‘exciting.’  That’s not how jobs work.  The only person who’s ever had a ‘great’ job is Bruce Wayne, and chances are that he’s probably a lot more awesome than you.

In 1992, faced with the intimidating task of outdoing their successful breakout album ‘Music for the People,’ Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch were at a crossroads.  With Band Enforcer Hector ‘The Booty Inspector’ Barros seeking treatment for personal issues, the group was effectively without supervision.  Blessed with unnatural levels of creativity but hampered by the pressure of complete independence, the remaining members delivered a driveling sophomore album that failed to produce a major hit.  Upon Barros’ return, all hell broke loose;  it was then that all the  ‘Good Vibrations’ ended as Marky Mark disbanded the group and fled to the forgiving and ever anachronistic German pop industry.

But of course the world didn’t end…although for some it was probably a darker, less funky place.

Do not let this be your destiny.  You don’t have an acting career to fall back on.

Learn from those who have gone before you.

You’ve got to get something done.  Something you can feel good about and on which to hang the day’s hat.  Ten minutes of quality trumps four hours of mind wandering.  This is your chance to get ahead.